Tuesday, June 29, 2021

The Swinged Cats Strike!

And those dusky border ruffians are put on notice! The Mount Rushmore State Mosstroopers - a whole platoon of the hardened veterans! - will fan out and become The Wall! No pasaran!

Seriously. Some Republican fatcat is paying for a whole platoon or so from the South Dakota Guard to TDY down to Texas to stop the Brown Hordes. 

Be assured that now the Republic is safe from La Raza.

Hey, Abbot? Hey, Noem? I seem to recall we tried this once. It didn't go all that well.

"We left the border for Parral
In search of Villa and Lopez, his old pal.
Our horses, they were hungry,
And we ate parched corn.
It was damn hard living
In the state of Chihuahua
Where Pancho Villa was born."

Update 6/29: Dan Nexon wins the Internets:


  1. Wait, wut? You let people privately fund your army? Is the donation a tax deduction?
    In other words, can you avoid paying money to the government by paying money to the government?

    My head hurts.

    1. Relax! Just think of it as a sort of public-private military partnership...

    2. Not paid for by the billionaire himself, but reportedly by his 'Willis and Reba Foundation'.

      Could it be a non-profit, a 501c3? If so, could he lose its tax exempt status? But if that happened Faux would mount a major campaign to chalk it up to cancel culture,

      In any case, how were the lucky SD Guardsmen picked? Volunteered by some nutcase CO probably. Will they go willingly or will they get a Guard version of the blue flue?

    3. When official government won't enforce the law, private government will eventually rise to satisfy demand, if only to garner favor. It's a timeless tale.

    4. Anon -

      You lost me. What is 'private government'? -

      Are you saying a 501[c][3] established for charitable purposes to provide its billionaire donor with a tax deduction is some type of shadow state? Or did you mean 'private sector'?

    5. Anon: "Private government" is nonsensical. "Private government" is what you get when you have the Hobbsean war of all against all, the sort of idiocy embodied in the "sovereign citizen" claptrap. It IS a "timeless tale"; one told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

      And which "law" do you imagine the "official" government isn't enforcing? Do you imagine there is no Border Patrol? No immigration courts? Have you inhaled the "open border" goofy gas that FAUX "News" and the usual wingnut suspects are emitting?

      The bottom line of the frontera is that Central America is in trouble and climate is making the trouble worse. The US has played a big role (hi, United Fruit! hi, CIA!) in making the nations of Central America trainwrecks of plutocracy and misgovernment that make them unable to respond to the troubles or in many cases even recognize them.

      Any border "law" that doesn't take that into account is a dead-letter law. In the long run the US - both its people and its "official" government - has two choices; to work with the nations and peoples of Central America to deal with those troubles so as to make their people want to stay put, or put itself in a state of virtual war with them, treating their peoples as invaders and responding to the troubles with force.

      Any Roman could tell you what happens when you put your nation in what is an effective state of continual border war.

      It's not "a healthy Republic", by the way. It's the sort of thing that encourages dangerous stupidity like "private government".

  2. This has a vaguely eighteenth century feel to it. Hmm, do privately funded troops get to wear snazzy uniforms? You know, bold colours and all sorts of braid? Maybe stocks will come back into fashion. March them to the top of the hill and back again!

    1. Governors using their state troops against the policy of the federal government. The feel you're feeling is a Nineteenth Century feel...1861, to be exact.

      But the GOP has been playing with this secession fire for a long time now. I'm not surprised by this. Disgusted. But not surprised.