Saturday, January 14, 2012

It's that time of the our lives again...

As the title says it all, it is that time of year again.

That time when Political speeches are made, many words are spoken, and truly, little of substance is said.

If, however, one is to actually pay attention to what is said by these Armani’s suited warriors of the belt-way carefully parse their words, one will hear what the each individual is saying...

for example...

Newt "not Romney" Gingrich: "Repeal Obamacare and pass a replacement that saves lives and money by empowering patients and doctors, not bureaucrats and politicians."

Now, does our dear Newt tell us what he will replace it with? Nope, he doesn't, but I bet if we look at his contributors we'd get a better idea of what type of "replacement" dear Newt baby is going to bring about...bon appetit!

Rick "Not Romney" Perry: "...get government out of the way so we can get America working again. By cutting taxes, repealing regulations, balancing our budget and expanding domestic energy production America can create millions of new jobs. Perry not only espouses conservative economic ideas – he has put them to work in his home state, where nearly 40% of America’s net new jobs have been created since June 2009."

Now, I'm pretty sure we've been down this road before, but the way this other "not Romney" Republican Candidate talks makes me wonder if Texas isn't the next Shangri-la...however, like Shangri la, alas, Texas isn't all that and buttered fact, it seems Mr. Perry has the same speech problem that the other former Governor of Texas had...a problem with, sorry, misspeaking.

"Democratic House member Lloyd Doggett said Perry's job claims don't tell the whole story. "Twenty-five states have lower unemployment than Texas," Doggett said, adding that Texas is "tied with Mississippi for more minimum-wage jobs than anywhere in the United States." We checked the numbers and found Doggett was right; we rated his statement True."

A pity that Ms. Bachmann bailed before I could assemble this list as she would have provided a comedic relief, alas, we press on.

Rick "Not Romney" San...oh, god, really, I can complete his last name...the imagery associated with it...come on sheer, man up...okay, here it goes...Santorum (Oh, god, I think threw up in my mouth): Okay, so, here is his site of issues, and as you peruse this I think you'll see that he is the poster boy with the unfortunate association with what is coined as "A loving act between two people" which is a polite way of saying that, like this man, it is a good idea not to go any further as you may discover things that later you will say to friends and families, "I miss my innocence."

However, since I'm jerk, I'll dive headlong into this mess and "translate" for you, my friends, what exactly he is saying...

"Defending the Dignity of Every Human Life" which is the buzzword for "I'm against everyone else having an abortion except for the privileged few like myself."

"Appointing Constitutionalist Justices and Judges Who Refuse to Legislate from the Bench" which is his way of saying, "I'm liking that Executive Privilege that W. and Obama are setting themselves up with, and I would like to expand on."

"Restoring America's Greatness Through Educational Freedom And Opportunity" is a not so clever way of saying, "I hate public edumication because it teaches our young people how to think for themselves, and we all know that American Greatness doesn't come through thinking for yourself, it comes through obeying those who are telling you what to do."

"Blah, blah" followed by, "Blah, blah, blaaaah, blah blah."

"Herpy derpity derp" which then is explained with, "Derp, burka, derp derp."

"Made In America" is a shorthand version of "Our workers here in the US are making way to much money, and in order to be competitive we need to lower those wages down to something below what their making in those washed out villages along Mumbai."

"Iran" translated is, "Oh how I really, really want to bomb Iran into the stone-age...oh...oh...oh...oh yeah...I need a towel."

"Executive Branch Actions" is another way of saying, "did I mention I totally dig Executive Privilege?"

Ad nauseum.

Anyway, I would go on, but with the loss of Michele Bachmann I've seem to have just laugh my last, I just cry because here it is in a nutshell.

Ron Paul, back in the 80's, and 90's was a crack-pot Right Wing looney toon who no one in their right mind took seriously except for a few groups in Idaho, and maybe down south.
Now, that Ron Paul is an actual contender, and that he is actually main stream, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NOT CHANGED HIS POLITICAL POSITION IN THE PAST THIRTY YEARS!!! tells me how far down the hole of insanity the Republican Party has crawled too...and that the other Republican Candidates actually make him look like the only sane one in the group is, in my opinion, not only disturbing, down right frightening.

And that is the take home message I think we're all stuck with here...the Republican line up has gone full on, batshit insane, and Obama with his "Who you gonna vote for, that, or me?" leaves us with the old adage of "Do we stick with the devil we know, or the devil we don't know?"

Caught between the devil and the deep blue sea...if I only we had that choice as an option.


  1. While it may make people even less comfortable , I need to point out that none of the Republican contenders are actually insane. They appear to be 'normally' functioning human beings operating as expected in their respective sociological circles.

    If you think they are saying and doing crazy things try to imagine how much of a warp exists between their and your perceptions to make their actions appear normal to them.

  2. Good post, S. You got a job waiting for you at the New York Times, whose "crack" reporting team apparently is "cracked" and is having some difficulty determining how much truth they need to dig out.

    If the world ran right, the Republican slate of candidates would be laughed out of the country, shamed enough never to touch US soil ever.

    But there is no shame, no honesty, no attempt to put the best foot and ideas forward.