Dear Achmed The Iraqi;
I know you're probably still kinda sore about the last couple of years. I know things haven't always been smooth between us. So it's kinda embarassing to have to tell you that we can't find about 8 billion and change of the oil money we sort of took to, um, reconstruct the stuff that, y'know, we, like, blew up and stuff, while we were liberating you for your freedom, and stuff, y'know?But you know how it is; you go to the mall, you go to the grocery store, you get all that loose cash and you stuff it in your pocket and you MEAN to make sure you get it safely back in your wallet, and then, damn, it's like the stuff just disappears like magic. But I'll bet you can probably ask some of the guys hanging around the kebab shop, the one's with the new AK-47 bling or the new cars. I'll bet they might know where some of it went.
I have to tell you, I'm still frustrated about this, I SWEAR we were taking real good care of this money. I can't IMAGINE where it got to or how we lost it.I hope this means we can still be friends. And get back to me about how that whole forming-a-government thing works out, K?